


Phoenix from the Flames

by jezebel



Series: Phoenix Rising [1]
Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-03-09
Updated: 2001-03-09
Packaged: 2017-10-10 19:29:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/103413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jezebel/pseuds/jezebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How can you get over 5,000 years of hurt?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phoenix from the Flames

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from a song by Robbie Williams, as do the titles in the rest of this series.

\--------------------

Silence shields the pain, so you say nothing,   
Feel they've rigged the game   
And you're done with loving Only you can see the   
Darkness in the northern lights"

\------------------   
It had been two weeks and Methos was worried, Richie spent half of his time crashed out on the couch watching mindless television half of which was in a language that he barely understood and the other half of his time stored away in his room writing in the Journal that Methos had gifted him with. In the six weeks that the young immortal had been there he had not gone out of the apartment once and offers for trips were met with vague excuses about being busy or too tired. The small light that Methos saw beginning to relight in the younger one was not enough to keep him from worrying. The feelings of protection had knocked Methos at first, he had not survived 5,000 years by worrying about anyone but himself, at least that is what he had told MacLeod and that is what he had believed until the strawberry blonde had insinuated himself into Methos' life and then the long buried feelings had come out in full force. Methos was tired of waiting for Richie to ask for help, especially when there was no certainty when the Scot would come back to town wielding a Katana and asking questions that Methos did not feel equipped to answer. No, he would have to pull the boy from the darkness that he found in everything and pull him towards some semblance of a normal existence, after all Methos was not willing to have the kid dependent on him for the next few centuries and he was sure that the kid did not want to be a burden.

\-------

"Rich, I was thinking of going on a trip, maybe to one of my houses elsewhere in Europe." Methos said to his stoic dinner companion, Richie looked up and there was a glimmer of fear and rejection in his eyes before the apathetic glaze reasserted its self.

"Sure, whatever. Don't feel obligated to stay here on my account." Richie mumbled.

"Rich, I meant both of us, I know that as a teacher Mac was severely lacking in broadening your horizons. Where do you want to go?" Richie paled considerably as the extent of what the old man was saying sank in, he was not being abandoned, rather given the choice to stay here or go anywhere in the world, no one had ever let him make that sort of decision for them, in fact he was still surprised at being able to make decisions about his own life.

"Could we...?" Richie began and then quieted as he wondered how to ask such a simple question. "Seacouver?" Richie said gently. Methos smiled and nodded while kicking himself for not having realised. In a state of confusion and loss there was no great need for a big adventure Richie just wanted to go home. Methos took the hand that lay on the table in his and smiled to Richie in his best reassuring grin.

"Well, at least we know a god bar there." He said then took his hand away and busied himself with clearing the table. Richie felt the warmth that had spread through his hand from the touch and wondered for the thousandth time if there was not more than friendly intentions in the old man's generosity, but for the first time Richie pondered whether having the old timer so enamoured of him was such a bad thing. It was after all someone to help fight the demons that kept him awake at night, funnily none of them were millennial but all looked like MacLeod.

\----------

Richie stood in the doorway of his room, a look of indecision on his face that only showed because of the moonlight that glowed at the window, Methos wanted to invite the boy in but was scared that if he spoke he would break Richie's trance and scare him away. In six weeks this was the closest that Richie had gotten to asking for help. Edging gently into the room until he stood over the other immortal Richie tentatively reached out a hand and nudged Methos, who was instantly awake from his pretend sleep.

"Rich?" Methos asked sleepily. Richie shifted nervously from foot to foot not sure what to say. "Nightmare?" Methos asked and was not surprised by the returning nod, rolling over and pulling the covers back Methos made the invitation clear. Richie was in two minds about what to do but then he remembered the warmth of the touch at the dinner table and climbed in despite being rigid with fear as Methos pulled up the covers. 'You can do this' Richie told himself, 'the pain will be worth it if you can have the tenderness afterward'. Richie relaxed a little but stayed alert, it was only as he felt Methos turn over completely that he looked over his shoulder to see the immortal with his back to him.

"Goodnight Rich." Methos said gently. "Wake me up if you need me." Richie turned back to his own side and felt a little confused, maybe the old man did not want him after all.

\---------

Richie woke to the feel of a gentle kiss on his shoulder and then Methos got up to make coffee. Richie burrowed back down and went back to sleep until the smell of bacon roused him further, Methos was making breakfast, Richie's stomach grumbled and he got up. There would be time for a lay in later.

The sight that met Methos was enough to stop any grumbles he had about getting up early, Richie came out of Methos' room clad only in boxers and rubbing his sleepy eyes with the ball of his hand. He had a T-shirt slung over his shoulder that he pulled on and then came to sit at the table. Desperately trying to get the blood to return to his brain so that he could function again Methos busied himself with preparing breakfast, needing to find something to stop him form taking Richie right there at the table where the redhead sat apparently oblivious to his effects on the old man.

Breakfast was eaten in an uncomfortable silence, there was no entry that either of them could find to bring up the topic that they wanted to discuss, the confusing events of the night before and what it meant for their future together. 'Future?' Methos' mind questioned as he ran through the queries he wanted to ask, 'You don't even know if he is interested, not to mention how harebrained the idea of lumbering him with the world's oldest immortal as well as the hunters that follow him as he is MacLeod pupil.' Methos chided himself. Richie was having similar thoughts, Methos was the first person that had shown him affection since the problems with MacLeod, it was not something that he would have expected of the old man, at least not the ancient immortal that Duncan had described, and yet there was no way of trusting his Teacher anymore. Not after what had happened at the racetrack. Methos was the only person that was there for him and Richie knew that he could not survive on his own, MacLeod had taught him that, so if it was at a price for Methos to stay with him then he would have to pay it, either that or ask the old man to take his head. After all the pain had been worth it before in the past when he had sold himself for food or shelter, why was this any different.

\------------------

Richie offered to clear the dishes for their breakfast by taking the pile of plates into the kitchen before Methos could react. There needed to be a distance between them while Richie worked out his plan of attack, Methos, who was completely oblivious to Richie's planning had retired to his favourite chair to read a book that was grossly misstating the facts of the Norman invasion, to everyone else it was a history, to Methos it was a comedy.

While Methos was sat enjoying William defeat Harold he was unaware of the thoughts that raced through Richie's mind. The younger immortal was in a turmoil about how exactly he was going to go about exacting the payment for Methos' protection. In the end he decided that the direct approach was best, after all with a 5,000 year old guy there was no real need for preamble. Concluding that it was better to start this while he still had the nerve Richie left the dishes in the sink and went into the other room, after all, if his previous encounters were anything to go by once he had initiated the sex his partner would take over.

Methos looked up from his book to find a nervous Richie moving slowly towards him. The younger immortal worried at his lip for a brief moment before the elder saw a flash of decision in the blue eyes and the kid pulled his T-shirt off to reveal the pale but well defined chest. Moving even closer and getting into Methos' personal space Richie knelt before the elder immortal and took the book from his hands before spreading the knees of his shocked friend.

Methos rapidly saw where this was going and the submissiveness and apparent resignation of Richie's position reminded him of his own days as a slave. Whatever was going on in the boy's damaged mind it was clear that this was not a voluntary invitation but rather a begrudgingly accepted penance, one that Methos knew he had not asked for.

"Richie." Methos said calmly as he saw the flicker of indecision in the boy. Reaching down Methos stood and pulled the shocked immortal with him. 'Maybe he wants to fuck me straight off' Richie reasoned, before he realised that Methos was leading him not to the bedroom but to couch where they sat side by side.

"I..." Richie began, not sure how to explain that he knew what it was that he was doing.

"Richie, I don't know what that little display was in aid of, but there is one thing that I want you to know. I may want you, but I will *never* force you to do something that you are not ready for."

"It's not my first time." Richie responded indignantly, earning him only a raised eyebrow from the elder immortal. Methos was beginning to wonder where it was that the pair of them were headed, he had spoken the truth when he said that he would never force Richie, but it appeared now that any indication that the boy made that he wanted Methos would need to be taken into careful consideration.

"It may not be your first time, but it will be the first time with me. There are a few things that you would need to take into consideration, not merely the fact that we are both immortal and that you are not fully aware right now." Methos said, knowing that sometimes the direct approach, although crude was the only way to go. In answer Richie stood and walked off towards his room, slamming the door behind him. Methos knew that the retreat was not an admission of defeat and more likely a chance for the boy to reanalyse his strategy and try again later. 'Damn he thinks like me' Methos added wryly, but the thought was not accompanied by his characteristic smile. There was a pain in his heart as he realised that there were far too many similarities between the younger immortal and himself, Richie was jaded and cynical beyond his years and the attack from MacLeod had been the final straw. It appeared that the kid attached his only usefulness to being one as a whore or a possession and that Methos was only there for one thing. With a sigh the ancient realised that he was going to have to try and reassure Richie that there was no price on his affections and that he would help the boy no matter what. That brought up a whole new set of thoughts that Methos was not ready to deal with, the primary one being that he only ever looked out for himself and yet here he was putting someone else's student before himself, risking Adam Pierson's cover and possibly his head for a kid that he was mildly attracted to. Methos picked up his book and turned back to easier subjects, the fools thought that Harold had died from an arrow through the eye, he wished he could tell these damn historians what had really happened.

\----------------------

Richie was confused, he thought that he had it all figured out and then Methos had turned him down. It made no sense, the old man had admitted that he wanted him but had said no anyway. This was the one thing that Richie could find no logical answer to. He had waited for Methos to make the first move the previous night, then he had tried the direct approach, neither it seemed had worked. He wondered what it was that the old man wanted from him, maybe Methos was just waiting until Richie was fully dependent on him and then he would take what he wanted. Richie shuddered at the last thought, although it would not be the first time he had given that without receiving something in return he did not want it to be that way with Methos, he had grown fond of the older immortal and was willing to go through with the sex for the protection and comfort he was receiving. MacLeod had told him after Kristin that Methos thought of no one but himself, he had told him too of the Horsemen, although Richie was not blind enough to see the monster that Mac betrayed the killing and manipulation did not portray an altruist. He was all out of ideas, but was not ready to admit defeat. Deciding that he was at a stalemate until he knew where Methos stood he would leave it up to the old man, but would not wait too long before trying again, after all time may be on their side but he was not sure how long they would have until Mac was back.

\---------------

Methos was still in his chair reading his book when Richie came out of his room later, he had a cold beer in his hand and it looked as if he were settled for the evening, but the atmosphere changed from relaxed to tense as soon as Richie entered the room.

"Rich, pull up a chair." Methos said as the younger immortal travelled past him to the Kitchen, Richie seemed to ignore him, but was back two minutes later with a pair of beers, the condensation still clouding the bottle.

"Methos...about earlier..."

"No, Rich, I think that I owe you an apology, I should have made it clear from the beginning what your place here is." Methos began, 'here it comes' Richie thought, 'I knew he would make the move sooner or later'. "I said that I wanted you, and I do, but there is no way that I am going to do anything until we are both ready. I brought you back here so that you could heal, I know that betrayal is one of the most difficult things to survive or forgive. I just want you to know that I am here for you, no matter what, if you only ever want to be friends that's fine, but if you want more, that's fine too." Richie made to protest but was stilled by Methos' finger pressing to his lips. "But...I need to know that if and when you do make a move, that it is not out of a sense that you owe me something, or that you think that you need to do it for my protection, because no matter what I'll do that for you. You've got to want if for you, for no other reason, or I'll be no better than MacLeod." Richie shuddered as he thought about what Methos was saying about his teacher, that Mac had just used him; abused his trust in the most horrific way, and realised that he did want more form Methos, a lot more.

"I want to, I just..." Richie began, but he did not want to have to tell the old man about his past, knowing that in his 5,000 years Methos had probably survived a lot worse.

"I know." Methos said pressing a gentle kiss to Richie's lips effectively silencing him. "I know."

\------------------   
"Phoenix from the flames   
We will rise together   
They will know our names   
Can you feel it?  
Shelter me from pain   
I always want to feel this way   
Just like a Phoenix from the Flames."

\----------------

***Journal of Richie Ryan***

Adam told me yesterday that there was a choice to be made, that it was my choice too. No one has ever given me the choice before. He let me sleep in his bed and expects nothing in return, he gives me the comfort and hope that I need for the future without taking anything from me. In his words, he does not want to be like Mac. We're going back to Seacouver next week, to a place that is supposed to be home, it is about the only place that feels that way right now, even though the only two places that have truly been home are marred by the memory of Mac trying to take my head. Maybe between us, Adam and I, we can make a set of new ones, he said that he wants me to start training again, that it's been too long since I picked up my sword. I was a little worried about fighting with him, fighting with anyone, but that was his point, if I can't raise a sword to him, how would I cope with another immortal. I guess that's it then, maybe I haven't yet found my entire future but I've at least built a present. Seacouver with Adam and a new teacher, a chance to get back on track and a chance to have a choice in where my future is headed, that's something I've never really had before either. I need to face the fact that Mac is no longer in my life, and I mean it this time. Next time his sword finds my neck, I won't make it so easy.

Fin 


End file.
